Do They Mean "Take Me On A Date" Or "Kill Me?"

“I’m just a crosshair, I’m just a shot away from you.”

Take Me Out, by Franz Ferdinand

E-Vite Should Totally Have An Option For How Long You're Staying

“It’s true I did extend the invitation—I never knew how long you’d stay.”

Toy Soldiers, by Martika

The Telemarketer's Motto

“Half of what I say is meaningless but I say it just to reach you.”

Julia, by The Beatles

Mind/Rhyme Isn't Really That Funky

“Old English filled my mind and I came up with a funky rhyme.”

Mama Said Knock You Out, by LL Cool J

The Mystery Is What The Hell She's Talking About...

“You strut your rasta wear and your suicide poem, and a cross from a faith that died before Jesus came.”

Building A Mystery, by Sarah McLachlan

Which Way Do You Think Lindsay Buckingham Goes?

“If I could, maybe I’d give you my world—how can I, when you won’t take it from me?”

Go Your Own Way, by Fleetwood Mac

The Kind Of Profound Logic You Hear When The Bar Is Closing

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”

Closing Time, by Semisonic

Rumour Has It This Song Is About Lou Diamond Phillips

“Knock me down, it’s all in vain—I’ll get right back on my feet again.”

Hit Me With Your Best Shot, by Pat Benatar

I'm More Curious About The Idea Of An Immodest Mouse

“I ran my mouth off a bit too much—oh, what did I say? Well, you just laughed it off; it was all okay.”

Float On, by Modest Mouse

Haze, Eh? Would That Be A "Purple Haze?"

“My life has changed in oh so many ways—my independence seems to vanish in the haze.”

Help! by The Beatles

If You're Talking To Your Coffee You've Got More Problems Than You Think

“Called my momma—she was out for a walk; consoled a cup of coffee but it didn’t want to talk.”

You Were Meant For Me, by Jewel

The Only Jim Morrison Song That Could've Been Done By Wayne Newton

“I’m gonna love you ‘til the heavens stop the rain.”

Touch Me, by The Doors

If You're Luscious Then I Want To See More Nudity Than Just Your Eye, I Mean C'Mon!

“Naked is a state of mind—I take things off to clear my head, to say the things I haven’t said.”

Naked Eye, by Luscious Jackson

Arguably Vanilla Ice Could Have Made This Claim

“Though I’m not the first king of controversy I am the worst thing since Elvis Presley to do black music so selfishly and use it to get myself wealthy.”

Without Me, by Eminem

No? How 'Bout My Biyatch? Friend With Benefit? Booty Call?

“Well, I could see you home with me, but you were with another man.”

Are You Gonna Be My Girl, by Jet

Oh, Sure - Don't Blame It On The Fraudulent Lip-Syncing

“Whatever you do, don’t put the blame on you.”

Blame It On The Rain, by Milli Vanilli

Well, Thank God For That!

“I’ve been in love before and I found that love was more than just holding hands.”

If I Fell, by The Beatles

She Should've Bitched About The AIDS-Carrying Hos You Were Banging

“I gotta get drunk before the day begins, before my mother starts bitchin’ about my friends.”

Boyz-N-The-Hood (Remix), by Eazy-E

How Is It That Nobody Has Covered This Song? Britney? Lindsay?

“Now is a new time; there is a new place where dreams just can’t come true.”

Foolish Beat, by Debbie Gibson

They Call Me 'Xylophone Man'

“They’re sharing a drink they call loneliness, but it’s better than drinking alone.”

Piano Man, by Billy Joel

I Was Never Good At Math

“Day after day I will walk and I will play, but the day after today I will stop and I will start my way.”

Add It Up, by The Violent Femmes

It's Better To Be Like The Jetsons Than The Flintstones--Brontosaurus Burgers Suck

“Let us jet set—we’ll be like the Jetsons; you can be Jane, my wife…should I marry Jane tonight?”

I'll Do Anything, by Jason Mraz

This Is Not As Hot As It Sounds

“I can do it to your mind, I can do it to your face.”

Angry Johnny, by Poe

One Of My All-Time Favourite Beatles Songs

“You and I have memories longer than the road that stretches out ahead.”

Two Of Us, by The Beatles

Hey, These Girls And I Have Something In Common...

“The best thing you’ve ever done for me is to help me take my life less seriously—it’s only life, after all.”

Closer To Fine, by The Indigo Girls

I Kick Ass On This Song At Karaoke

“When that shark bites with his teeth, babe, scarlet billows start to spread.”

Mack The Knife, by Bobby Darin

This Band Is Named After Milhouse On The Simpsons

“I’m just a notch in your bedpost, but you’re just a line in a song.”

Sugar, We're Goin Down, by Fall Out Boy

So Depressing Even Robert Smith Calls Them Morose

“Why is the bedroom so cold, turned away on your side? Is my timing that flawed, our respect run so dry?”

Love Will Tear Us Apart, by Joy Division

You Know How Long It Took Me To Realize They Were Referring To A Car?

“The woman is wild—a she-cat tamed by the purr of a Jaguar.”

Maneater, by Hall & Oates

Soul, Body. Body, Soul. Soul Is An Attorney In Century City...

“I do believe it’s true that there are roads left in both of our shoes.”

Soul Meets Body, by Death Cab For Cutie

Big Deal - I See A Face Every Morning When I Look In The Mirror

“I have never known the likes of this; I’ve been alone and I have missed things and kept out of sight.”

I've Just Seen A Face, by The Beatles